Time flies when you're having fun!

Whew! It has been a busy last few weeks!

So, to get you caught back up on our lives, in the last three weeks we:

• spent three days in the hospital with dad
• shot a commercial 
• put our house up for sale
• survived a blizzard, earthquake and heat wave (that may be exaggerating a bit)

Ok, looking at that tiny list, it does not seem like a lot but it was a big month for us!  

On an early, early Sunday morning, Aaron, Abi and I traveled to a picturesque farm called Hunting Creek Farm.  They raise and show clydesdale horses and they something like 700 acres in the North Carolina countryside.  We show up and are mingling with the other cast members, film crew, production crew, etc, in a huge banquet hall on the property.  They get us dressed, make-up applied and we are off to shoot the first scene.  Legally, I cannot give out more details than that, but it was an amazing day! We got to experience a whole new level of fun, and it was as a family, so that was the best part.

Next,  was dad's spinal surgery and it went splendid.  I spent the first night and my sister spend the second night.  I had not spent the night away from my little family in....I do not remember, but it was fun to share late night Wendy's with just my sisters and our dad after surgery.  We do not get time like that often with our busy, dispersed lives.  He was the model patient, literally the most perfect patient anyone could have asked for, and I can attest for the non-perfect ones.  He was discharged on the third morning and recovered even better than he expected.  He has been cleared to go back to work even! 

The week after dad was released, he stayed with my sister about ten minutes away from us.  We had all these big plans of visiting together, going for walks, etc, but none of it happened because we spent three days snowed in!  We do not get snow like that where we live.  Maybe once in a couple years we will get more than an inch of ice and a few flurries.  This time, we got dumped on.  Abi loved it, and we loved that we got to spend a lot of time together.  Aaron and I work such opposite schedules we do not get a lot of quality time.  So, for us, getting snowed in was the best!

Lastly, we put our house up for sale.  This was a decision that a lot of people may not understand, but for us it makes perfect sense.  Will explain more later!

It has been a busy few weeks, thank you all for your continued love and support, it means so much to us!

Three hours and counting...

Dad is going under the knife today and having fusion of C7 and T1. He started having some weakness and numbness in his hands and legs a few months ago. Very reminiscent of his first back surgery, though this time only two vertebrae are involved. 

The best part? Getting video of him after they gave the Versed.  Blackmail!!

The best daddy ever.  

Forgiven

There are things in our pasts that we want to keep buried.  I would love nothing more than to forget about three years of our life and just move on.  However, writing this blog has reopened a lot of old wounds and I am really feeling the weight of my mistakes.

The weight of hurting those I love most in the world.

The weight of hurting someone I did not even know.

The weight of letting God down, letting myself down.

_


Yesterday was the last of three shifts and it always seems to happen the same way when I work three in a row, about 4:30 everything starts to fall apart.  I get a new admission (who is 500 lbs and needs a deep cleaning head to toe immediately that takes four of us and 45 minutes to do), one patient needs a timed adjustment on an IV medication that I was supposed to do 30 minutes ago, one patient reverts back to a-fib with heart rates in the 160s so I need to call a doctor for new orders, and one patient who has just come back from a procedure and has not eaten since the night before.  Every time.

I was trying to get out on time.  I was tired.  Three 14-hour days is not easy.  Especially when I am still waking up in the middle of the night to pump once and up by 5.  7:15 rolled around and I was still charting.  7:45 rolled around and I was finally clocking out.  On my way out, I ran into my best good friend and we talked for another 30 minutes.  It was just not meant for me to get home on time and shower and go to bed.

Fifteen minutes into my ride home, I changed the radio station to 96.5, which is a christian station.  A new song came on that I had never heard before.  Hearing the words, listening to what God had laid on someone's heart to write, I knew why I was meant to be late.

Well, the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
'Cause I’m forgiven

When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
'Cause I’m forgiven

It hit me in the gut.  Tears streaming down my face, my Savior was telling me it is ok.  He knows what I have done, he knows what I have been, but in His arms I am safe, I am loved for everything I am and I am forgiven.

Condemnation in any form is hard to deal with; from the outside by people who know your mistakes but do not know your soul, and sometimes self-condemnation is heavier and becomes unbearable.  The devils of our past creep up and give us no rest.  A relentless highlights reel that plays in our heads.  We relive all of our mistakes and feel every sting again and the burden of guilt.  

But this is my testimony.  If anyone can tell you, it is me.  God is a big God.  He sent his Son to die on a cross, for you and me (yes, even me), so that we may know true love, so that we can experience true forgiveness and can stand before Him one day, clean.

I immediately got on my iTunes and bought the song.  It has been on repeat since last night.  It is amazing how God reminds me how much He loves me.  And He loves you too. 



Romans 8: 1-4

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. ² For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Who knew?

In light of all the "heavy truths" from the last few posts, here's a bit of lighthearted fun. 

Last week, the director of the soccer club that our daughter plays for sent a blast email to all of the families. A casting company was asking for families to audition for a commercial for a medication. 

Aaron and I thought it was funny and went back and forth with, should we do it or should we not?  It was last minute, just a few days away, and we already had so much planned in a jam packed Saturday. 

We had to be there at 4:00.  So, at 3:15, we were running into Target plugging my iPhone into the kiosk to print off random pictures we happened to have of us individually. I think mine was even a selfie after a haircut! 

We pulled into the parking lot at 3:57 and walked inside. A man took our paperwork and said we were the next family, to wait there until the other family came out. 

Two minutes later we found ourselves in front of a large green screen, standing all together, in front of a camera and a table full of people rating at us blankly. 

The woman in charge asked us a couple of questions and then we had to "pretend to be playing a game of horseshoes together".  Throwing invisible horseshoes at a camera is not easy if you aren't used to it!

"Ok mom, step out and let's see dad and daughter pretending to be looking at a vintage car."

Aaron does not do well on the spot!! He was so nervous. But they made it through and of course Abi was charming and made them laugh. 

"Abi turn on the radio, what music would you be listening to?"

"Elvis!!"

All in all, we were there probably 15 minutes. It was so much fun and random and fits right into our crazy life. We laughed at each other in the car and poked fun at Aaron who did not know what to say.   

We have a lot of tough memories happening in the next few months bit was so nice just to escape all of it and be ourselves. 

I hope everyone else had a nice weekend too!