Goodbye 2013!

It's so hard to believe that 2013 is almost over. It has been a year of ups and downs and everything in between.

We started the year off with a bang; the first week of January we celebrated with everyone we love the most and found out we were having a baby boy!

Then came my belly getting bigger and bigger and the anticipation of when we would get to meet Brayden for the first time. May 5, 2013, we welcomed our baby boy to the world!

Our last "selfie" as a family of 3.

 

Aaron, so happy to be holding his boy!

And Abi discovered what it meant to be a sister; adoring her little brother from his first little breaths and squeaky cries. 

And I learned what it meant to be a mother of two, having one girl and one boy and loving each unconditionally.  

Abi is my best little friend.  She has taught me to appreciate her on so many different levels; she's a helper, tenderhearted and jealous, giving of herself. She nurtures in ways I did not realize she was capable. She has matured in just the short time he has been with us and I love watching her blossom. Her faith is strong and unwavering. She is amazing, and I do not use that word lightly (even though I am her mom and I would probably say it regardless). 

Brayden has stolen my heart. He is a happy, smily, baby. He has such a personality! The best of his daddy's laid-back attitude and loves to smile, and I mean smile all the time. Even in the hospital the nurses would comment on how mellow he was. He is a ponderer, thinker and watches in amazement and the things going on around him. I cannot wait to see how he grows.

Of all the things I have been taught this year- the unfaltering power of God's love, true forgiveness and mercy, true unconditional love, etc- I have to say, the most powerful has been the impact of prayer. Never, ever discount the importance of prayer and a daily conversation with God. He created this world with mere words, and even in all of His wonder and might, He still loves little 'ol insignificant me and cherishes a relationship with me. 

As this year quickly draws to a close, I am reminded that time is so fleeting. Make each second count. As a family, we cannot wait to make more memories to cherish forever in 2014!!

Christmas? Did we just have Christmas?!

Whew! It has been such a long time my friends! The holiday season is such a busy time; you have to really pay attention to each moment and cherish it, because that single second is fleeting! 

These are my two. They are my world, my joy, my reason for living. 

We had such a wonderful Christmas. It was laid back, relaxed and not rushed in the least; a far cry from our earliest Christmases together. 

That seems to be an issue around this time of year, the hustle and bustle to get it done and then it's gone. And every year, it always seems, without fail, someone's feelings get hurt because you weren't able to spread yourself thin enough to visit long enough. 

Aaron and I used to set our alarm for 6:30 am Christmas morning so we could wake Abi up to open presents. Then rush, rush, rush. Get ready really quick to go from one parent to the other, back to the extended family, cooking to make a lunch that you'll be an hour late for anyway, all to be too exhausted to enjoy any of it from doing the same thing the day before. Where's the fun and joy in that??

I remember riding in the car and Aaron and I looked at each other, weary eyed, and swore we wouldn't do it like this again. And we haven't! 

Sometimes you have to say "no", or if you're like me and that isn't in your vocabulary, you learn to compromise. Now, we spread Christmas celebrations with extended family members out over the days leading up to Christmas. We let Abi sleep in (which ironically turns out to just be until daylight on Christmas morning). We enjoy coffee and breakfast and talking about why we even celebrate around Christmas-time; the real reason for the season. We play with the presents instead of putting off opening them because we have to go get dressed to leave. We try on every article of new clothing because Abi wants to model it all. We shoot Nerf guns and put together the toys with the tiny parts because she JUST CANT WAIT TO PLAY!!!

We've learned the time we spend with our children, who will only be children once, is the most important thing. Don't let the busyness of this world distract you from the things, and the people, who matter most! 

Bath-time Lessons

Last night, I decided to let Brayden take a bath in the sink, something many children get to do. He is sitting up pretty well now and absolutely loves the water. This gave Abi and I an opportunity to chit-chat about school, friends, etc. while we were watching him play. She told me a story about her time in gym the other day.

They were playing hockey and one of the things Mr. C told them was they were not supposed to raise the stick above the level of their knees. Many children were doing so, and Mr. C would then scold them and remind them gently not to do this. Well, Abi did. But she did not get caught! Whew, she thought she got away with it. Inside though, something started gnawing at her, making her feel guilty about it. So, she did something I never imagined a child would do; she told on herself. She quietly walked up to Mr. C, admitted she had done it, and apologized. He was taken aback! And in response, he rewarded her with a trinket from the treat box. 

I was impressed, and speechless. Abi was sensitive to her conscience and admitted wrong. She was self-aware and quick to repent. Even though this may seem trivial, as a parent, it made my heart do an internal cartwheel! Raising your children to be God-fearing, honest, good people is one of the most important responsibilities and I do not take it lightly.

Nobody wants to be the parent 20 years down the road that people think, "Well, if they'd just ben raised better..."

She taught me something. When we have done wrong, no matter what it is, admitting it and making amends is incredibly difficult. I find this to be true in my every day life, too. Whether I have spoken harshly to one of my sisters, wronged Aaron in some way, gossiped, or whatever it may be, I am trying to be more like Abi. Self-aware and quick to repent. Being sensitive to that little voice, the gnawing at your conscience to make it right.

Something as simple andunglamorous as raising a hockey stick too high. She didn't hurt anyone, no one told on her, there was no consequence of doing it. But she listened. And I believe obeying in the small things, means obeying in the big and important ones. 

Luke 12: 2-3 There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.  What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.

Cease from anger

I have to be honest, I was struggling with this last night.

Let me set the scene: I work three days in a row per week, thirteen hour shifts. I leave at 6 am and do not set foot in the house until at least 8 pm, on average.  I love my job. It fulfills me in ways I wish that everyone could be by doing what they love. But, my job is taxing. Mentally, emotionally and even physically sometimes. Caring for the sick, the wounded, the mentally unstable, the frustrated, the depressed, it wears on you. I love it, but my profession requires giving of one's self.

I have been sick (congestion, sinus pressure, cough, ear ache, etc) for two weeks now. My son, my sweet, adorable, happy, baby boy had this for two weeks before that. So, in the last month I do not think I have slept more than two hours consistently at night. I am exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Last night, Tuesday, just as on all Tuesdays, I could not wait to get home and start my time off. The hot shower was calling my name, the fluffy cocoon of the bed pillows and covers were competing for my attention. And I get a text from my husband as I am walking to the car, "I'm going to try and go to bed early". BOOM. Good feelings gone. I could feel the tension creeping up from my toes as I tossed this around in my head.

"But I am the one who has to get up in the night with the baby. But I am the one who has worked almost 40 hours in three days. But I am the one who has been sick and I am tired and all I want to do is get a steamy shower and curl up in bed and sleep for 15 hours. BUT I....!!!!"

And it ruined my night. I had a bad attitude walking in the door, though still pleasant, but could feel that tension curling around every word. And as I laid in bed (after a quick shower and a 30 minute struggle with Brayden to go to sleep), all I could think was, "How many times have I used the word I?"

What about Aaron? He wanted to go to bed early because he needed to leave the house at 4:30 am to be at work by 5. Not to mention the fact that he has worked his butt off the last two weekends working a side job. He deserves an extra hour of sleep too to prepare for his work week.

Yes, we should take care of ourselves. Yes, we need rest and relaxation. Yes, our spouses should help and be considerate and all of that. But I was concerned only with myself and my needs and felt that they superseded those of anyone else. I was quick to anger and who did it hurt? Myself.

Psalm 37:8
Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret- it only causes harm.

What a smack in the face as I was reading this morning. Was it really worth ruining an evening at home just because I felt my sleep was more important than anyone else's? No.

Lord, please help me to be slow to anger, and put others first. Help me to be sensitive to Aaron's needs and remind me how much I love him when I feel hurt. Help me daily to be a good wife; his companion, his friend and his biggest supporter. Amen.

My top 10

As many of you know, Aaron and I have been together for a long time. We met at church, in youth group. I was 14 and he was 18 (which as a mother I now completely freak out about- how can you meet your soul mate and know you are going to marry them at 14?! My daughter will not even be dating until after college!). In our defense, I was in 10th grade and graduated high school at 16; I had an old soul and together with Aaron's "maturity level" we were roughly the same age.

I remember the first night I met him like it was yesterday. One Sunday night before service. I was looking for Justin Wallace to sit with him and his friends. They were upstairs in the balcony, on the right side, where all of the high school kids were sitting now. He waved me over when he saw me. And there he was. Oh my, he was the cutest guy I had ever seen in my life. Knock the wind out of you, cute. Catch your breath and not know what to say, cute. Make you want to jump across a church pew and commit a sin, cute. Justin introduced us. Aaron Wilson. Oh, what a name...

Later on I would find out that that night Aaron told his mother he was going to marry me. She told him, "Better not put all your eggs in one basket, she's so young!" I'm so glad he did.

August 28, 2003 we went on our first date, two months after I turned 17. The original plan was to wait until I was 18, but we could not stand it any longer. I was in college, so I was an adult now, right? I could definitely make my own decisions. I definitely knew everything and I knew I wanted that man!

We talked about marriage from the very beginning. We just knew that we knew that we knew; a feeling deep in your gut, deep in your bones. We knew we wanted to spend every single day together for the rest of our lives. On June 10, 2004, two days after I turned 18, Aaron and I stood huddled together in my bathroom staring at two pink lines on the first of three pregnancy tests.

We got married October 1, 2004 and Abigail was born January 19, 2005. Two of the happiest days of my life. Ignorantly blissful. We were living our happily ever after.

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I have compiled a list of 10 things that I would tell my 18 year old self, if I could.

#10- Pick your battles. You are going to have many arguments over your life together so pick them wisely. Is it really worth spending 24 hours being mad at each other over whether or not you washed the leftover toothpaste out of the sink after you're done brushing your teeth? Make the arguments count, it is not worth it in the grand scheme of things.

#9- You fell in love with Aaron and you married him, as is. Don't try to change him to fit whatever you think he should be. He drinks coffee every single morning, then he handles his man "business" in the bathroom. Then he leaves the dirty coffee cup beside the coffee maker and what is left after he takes a sip will drip down the side and land at the junction between the counter and the cup making the cup stick to the counter. He will do this regardless and will do it every. single. day. He did this before he met you and he will do this the entire time you are married. Get over it. Just put the cup in the dishwasher and wipe off the sticky coffee mess. Then refer back to #10.

#8- Respect Aaron. Yes, his personality is such that he is mellow, laid back, go with the flow. Because of this he can be wishy-washy, impulsive, and flighty. Refer back to #9 and #10 when you have issues with this. But no matter what, respect him. Do not override his decisions and make him feel inadequate. Men need to be respected, but more importantly they need to feel respected by their wives. You will get no where cutting him off at the knees, except destroying his self-respect, self-worth and make him feel like less of a man (you don't want this).

#7- Communicate, communicate, communicate. Aaron cannot read your mind. If something upsets you, tell him. He may hate it and roll his eyes and cringe when you say the dreaded, "We need to talk," but do it anyway, and do it often. Any couple that says they never fight is either lying or keeping secrets and they are more unhappy than they are willing to admit.

#6- Expanding on #7, do not, under any circumstance, use the word "FINE". Are you ok? I'm fine. Is that ok? Fine. No, no, no. You are lying. He is your best friend, do not lie to him. Be honest. If you do not feel comfortable with what he is doing, tell him. If it makes you mad that, in your mind, he ignored you when he sat down on the couch and did not immediately put his arm around you or reach for you, tell him. And then refer back to #10 and #8.

#5- Watch your tone. No one likes to be talked at. Krista, you have a way of getting an attitude. It is one of your defense mechanisms. But try your best to refrain. It will get nowhere.

#4- Never stop loving on Abi. She needs it. She loves you. Make her feel your unconditional love.

#3- When it comes to priorities, it is God, your husband and your children, in that order. The moment you stop putting them first, you convince yourself you are more important than those you love. That is a no no.

#2- Guard your heart. Do not let anyone, I repeat, ANYONE, tell you that your life is not what you want. Do not be swayed by those who do not understand your life choices and question if you are truly happy. You are, I promise. The grass is NOT greener on the other side.

#1- Just because Aaron is a fun, happy-go-lucky, spontaneous person does not mean that you can't be. You do not have to be serious for the two of you. One day your child will think you are being serious, when in fact you are joking, but she will not get it because, and I quote, "But mommy, you are the serious one, daddy tells the jokes." Enjoy your life and laugh, there will be time for serious and worry later!

I know I said 10, but there is one more and it is extremely important. LOVE ON YOUR HUSBAND. Sex does not equal love or intimacy, but do it, do it often. There is a spiritual and emotional connection when there is intimacy between two people, and there is an emotional and spiritual DISconnect when there is NO intimacy between two people. There will be times in your marriage when it will be hard, you will be stressed, you will be distracted, you will have a million things that you think need your attention. But come together with Aaron, put the world aside and share a moment of sheer oneness. You will be surprised at how it will relieve stress, bring your attention back to the things that matter, and renew the closeness you have with Aaron. Now don't get me wrong, every once in a while there won't be time for that flowery, romantic, slow lovemaking. Sometimes it will just be a quickie in the closet when you are supposed to be getting ready while your mother in law is in the living room with the kids. But that is ok. You will enjoy that too.


The goal is not to never argue, happy all the time, stay married. Do not just be married, be happily married. I promise it will make life way easier, more enjoyable and everyone else will feel the same.

Us, in August, at my mom's wedding, which also happened to be the 10th anniversary of our first date. A wonderful day!