Maxwell {birth day}

Little did I know that merely a few days after my last post, we would be in the hospital having our third.  Actually, I take that back.  I had a feeling.  An inkling, a suspicion.

But it was not a good time.  We had so much going on; baby shower, sister's birthday, spring break trip at the beach for a few days, mommy beach trip weekend (with the kiddos), Brayden's second birthday, wedding rehearsal, wedding, sister's graduation, Mother's Day, sister moving home from college.  Where was I supposed to fit in having a baby??

Little Max had his own timing.

Friday morning was my 36 week appointment and she did her first internal check and I was almost 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced.  I had a feeling it was going to go that way.  She told me at that point if I did go into labor, we were far enough along that they would not do anything to stop it.

That night we had wedding rehearsal dinner and around 11:30 I started having a little low back pain while we were getting ready for bed. My braxton hicks had really picked up the few days before and at midnight I started timing them.  Cramps across my lower belly, pain in my low back, inability to get comfortable.  If this was it, I was going to labor at home as long as possible.  Instead of waking Aaron, I decided to just let it ride.  At 2:00 I told myself to sleep, I was not going to be any good if I had been up all night.

Sleep evaded me.  Something about having contractions to prevent a restful sleep.  At 5:15 I decided to text my parents and let them know we would be going to the hospital.  My mom and two sisters were in Greenville, SC, for a concert the night before.  My dad was in Georgia unloading.  Everyone needed a little advanced notice.

My mother-in-law came to the house and we made it to the hospital at 8.  The midwife checked me and yep, 5 cm now!  Brayden's labor/delivery were pretty quick, so woo-hoo for making progress already!  I just knew we would have a new baby boy or girl by noon.

See, that is the problem with making a "plan" or "assuming" you know anything about what is out of your control.

Being only 36 weeks, and just barely 36 weeks, the midwife informed me that they could not do anything to "induce" my labor, referring to breaking my water AND any more walking than just in the room (how about that?!).  So, my body had to do it naturally until I was 7-8 cm, and then they could break my water if it had not happened yet.

The decision was made to check me again at 10:30 and see how far I had progressed. Guess what? 10:30 came and I was only 6 cm, maybe 7 if they were feeling generous.  Ugh. At this point I had been contracting for over 10 hours with two hours of sleep since the night before. So, 3:30 was our next check point.

3:30 came and I decided to go ahead and have an epidural, as I had with my previous two labors, and then the midwife would be back to break my water.  By 4:30 I had my epidural, resting comfortably finally and the midwife came back to check me and break my water.

Except not.  I was ready, but baby Wilson "floated" away as she checked me.  Even with a contraction, baby was not "applied" to my cervix.  If she broke my water and baby's head was not flush with my cervix, the umbilical cord could float out in front, or a hand even.  Ugh.  No water broken yet again!

At this point, I was beginning to get frustrated.  Fifteen hours of steady contractions and we still had not made much progress.  Now I had my epidural and could not get up anymore.  So, lay there is all I could do.

7:30 was our next goal point. 7:30 came, then 8:30, then 9:30.  I was not really worried about it.  The midwife had two active labors and a possible c-section.  My mom, however, was frustrated and let the front desk know it.  Before I knew it, Tina the midwife, Dr. Revels, and my nurse Holly were at my bedside.  Tina and Holly applied pressure to the baby to make sure he or she was up against my cervix and Dr. Revels broke my water.  FINALLY!! Now we could really get things moving!

Except not, again. My contractions waxed and wained, in intensity and timing.  It was not until after 1:30 am Sunday morning that I was finally completely dilated and effaced and feeling the urge to push.  Twenty five and a half hours of contractions and we were finally getting ready to meet our little baby!  The idea of pushing again made me a lot more anxious than I allowed myself to realize.  I started shaking uncontrollably.  I am not this woman! I am strong and can handle anything, and here I was, terrified of a long active labor because of how exhausted I already was, how I struggled to push with Brayden, and tearing.  I needed to calm down, for serious.

Tina came in and told me to give her a little push, just to see how effective I was going to be and get an idea of how delivery was going to go.  I grabbed my legs and gave just a slight push and she said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! This little peanut is ready to come out now."  Then things got busy, 4 more nurses came in and then we were ready to finally do this for real!! One little push, the head was out and the top of the shoulders.  Tina looked at Aaron and asked if he wanted to help deliver his baby.  Aaron put his hands around the shoulders, I gave another little push and baby was out!  Three pushes total.  Less than five minutes of active pushing.  Thank you, God, for allowing a small part of that experience to be easy!

I heard Tina ask, "What is it dad?!"
A pause, and then, "It's a boy!!!"

Everything else after was a blur.  Those hormones surging, exhaustion setting in, emotions running wild.

Maxwell Lee Wilson

May 10, 2015

1:52 am

5 lbs 7 oz

18 1/2 inches long

Every pregnancy, every labor and every delivery is so different.  I have loved each of them in different ways.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to seeing your child for the first time or holding him or her and realizing the culmination of months of planning, pains, insomnia, nausea, blind love.

I have been blessed beyond measure! My heart is full.  We are the fab five now. :)

Brayden {2 years}

Around this time two years ago, it was Sunday, we were sitting at Original Pancake House and I was devouring some chocolate chip pancakes.  We had been up since 5:30, and had been heading down to Greenville, SC, for a soccer tournament that luckily got rained out.  Abi had played the day before and it was miserable; rainy and cold and I was a very 37 weeks pregnant and seriously feeling every bit of 37 weeks.

Who knew the beginning of May would be so chilly??

Dad had ridden down with us Sunday morning and as we dropped him off at his house after breakfast, I could not get comfortable; in the car or on his couch.  My Braxton hicks contractions were driving me crazy and I could not find one position that gave me any relief from the ache in my back!  I told Aaron I needed to get home and that it was getting close to time to be having this little nugget.  I wanted to try and lay down at home before, if this truly was it.  I was 2 cm dilated at my 36 week appointment so I had a feeling we were knocking at the door. 

No rest for the weary, however.  Up late the night before after traveling for the soccer tournament, up early just in case it did not get cancelled, all I wanted to do was take a nap, but no such luck!  I knew I wanted to labor at home as much as possible, and am so glad I did.  My contractions were never really "regular" but they were getting pretty intense across the bottom of my belly, to the point where I was having to brace myself on the back of the couch with each one.   

So, I did what any normal 37 week pregnant woman would do, I got in the shower to freshen up and shave my legs!  The things we worry about!  

We headed to the hospital around 5:30 pm.  I was contracting about every 4 minutes at that point.

They got me all gowned up, checked and I was 6 cm dilated!  We were really about to do this, it was really time. 

I have been very blessed when it comes to pregnancy, labor, delivery, recovery, and motherhood.  Seriously. 

It was around 6:30 pm when we settled into our room (at this particular hospital, every stage of childbirth is done in the same room).  I did have an epidural, and about 9:30 I was fully dilated and feeling the urge to push.  Time to kick everyone out except Aaron and my secret weapon, my mom.  

Side note: Aaron is superb at a lot of things. Everything he puts his hand to he seems to excel at.  However, as much as I love him and am in love with him, childbirth is not one of them.  And that is ok.  It is very traumatic for him.  Thus, my mom will be in the room every single time we do the birthing thing.

When it was time to dive into active pushing, I had a hard time.  My positioning was not right and I could not effectively push because I felt like I was laying down and could not gather the force I needed to focus on where and how to push.  Little Brayden had a big ol noggin and was not wanting to exit! I was exhausted though; from traveling the day before, not sleeping, up early, laboring all day at home.  I was beginning to get discouraged and upset. 

Then, with perfect timing, I hear my mom in my ear whispering, "Lord, give her strength. Come on baby, you've got this.  Lord, give her the strength."  

I took a deep breath and pushed through the next contraction with all my might.  And he was here.  Well, his head anyway, but that was the hard part.  My little man.  He was finally here.

There are no words to express the immense emotions that flood you when you see your child for the first time.  Love at first sight.  Unconditional, undying love for a little human being.  The closest thing to God's love that we will ever be able to experience.

~

Happy birthday my sweet boy.  You have been a blessing from the moment you were conceived.  My precious "rainbow baby".  You gave me hope when I thought our world was over.  The bond between mother and child begins way before the baby can be held outside of the womb, and ours certainly is no exception.

You have tried my patience, stretched my limits and reminded me why I was born to be a mom.  You are constantly up under my feet, wanting to be held, watch me cook, help me cook, help daddy in the garage with every project.  You still do not sleep well at night sometimes, and I am a little lost as to what to do about it.  You are so busy all the time, and certainly all boy!

You are growing up so fast. You have an infectious smile and know how to make us laugh.  Everywhere we go, you make friends and people can not help but talk to you.  Your sister is so good with you and even though you two have your moments, you completely adore her, and she you.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for your life!

We love you so much!