I work my shifts back-to-back. Three 12-hour shifts, Saturday through Monday. This type of schedules has it's perks and also it's disadvantages. Out the door at 6 am and not home until after 8 pm, usually. Long days, short nights, little sleep and then back to do it all again. But I get to see my patients three days in a row. I get to build a relationship with them. They get the continuity of care that most patients find comforting. I get to know them; their quirks, their special requests, their personalities, their favorite breakfast, the way they like their pillow or the way they prefer to take their medicines. I get to know their families, and sometimes sadly, they have no one and I am the only person they see for three days (besides other nursing staff).
Today was no exception. My third day in a row, with a fabulous group of patients. However, after getting report from the night shift nurse, one of these patients went from having a heart rate of over 100 beats a minute to less than 30, causing us to run into the room. The patient was slumped over in bed, with the nursing assistant at his side. His face was grey and he was not breathing. We sprung into action; calling his name, pinching, rubbing, straightening, desperately searching for a pulse. To no avail. He was a DNR, meaning in the event that something happened to him, there were to be no extraordinary measures taken. So we stood and watched our sweet patient pass.
This was an unexpected passing. Although chronically ill with multiple health issues, he was not near end of life, yet. We see these types of patients often and he did not seem to be so close to passing.
As nurses, we also share the responsibility of calling family in when a patient has a change in status, or has passed. Today, I was responsible for notifying his only daughter that she needed to come to the hospital as soon as possible. When she came up to the unit, we sat in the waiting room together. With the attending doctor, we explained what had happened, giving my account of his last moments.
After a few moments of tears, she said something completely amazing, "You know, he told me yesterday, 'Don't be surprised if I pass'. And I believed him, I knew this was going to happen."
Her father knew that his health was rapidly declining. He was an independent, energetic, sweet and humorous man. He knew he did not want to be dependent on others for his care. I firmly believe he decided it was time, and the Lord granted his wish to come home. He died with dignity and at peace.
So, today, on my third day in a row, weary and worn out, I bore witness to a soul being taken home, where his wife would have been waiting to greet him on the other side. I got to hold a grieving daughter, afraid to be the first to let go. I got to sit and hear stories of a man I only knew for a brief moment. I got to help her pack his things and hold her hand when she could not finish. I got to be the emotional rock of a fragile woman who had just lost the last surviving member of her family. I got to quietly sob in the shower after work because the weight of being strong for someone else hit me finally.
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So often, just as in any job I suppose, it is easy get wrapped up in the tasks of the day. I am the first one to admit that we tend lose focus on why we really do what we do.
Today I was reminded about what makes the nursing field special.
Today I was reminded about why I chose this career path.
Today I remembered what made me want to be a nurse.
Today I was reminded of how short life is and how important it is to live every single day just as it could be your last. You never know when saying goodbye to someone, if that will be the last time you speak.
Love on your family, friends and those you come into contact with every day. Kiss your significant other, hug your children, tell everyone in your life how important they are to you.
A Nurse's Prayer
Almighty God,
divine Healer of all,
grant me, your handmaiden,
strength and courage in my calling.
Give to my heart compassion and understanding.
Give to my hands skill and tenderness.
Give to my mind knowledge and wisdom.
Especially, dear Lord,
help me always to remember the true purpose of my vocation,
that of selfless service and dedication
to the weak and despairing in body and spirit.
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