It seems that I have had quite a few in a row. I cannot escape the things I try to keep buried.
I am being tormented by my every mistake- mistakes I have made as a wife, mistakes I have made as a mother, every mistake I have made since the 6th grade it feels like.
I blame it on this new birth control. Something about hormones raging inside your body to get your mind swirling and your emotions raw.
We beat ourselves up and give ourselves zero room for error. Can I go back in time and erase every wrongdoing? No. Have I asked forgiveness from the only One who can truly give it? Yes. Have I asked forgiveness from those I have sinned against and attempted to make amends? To the best of my ability.
That is where grace steps in.
And guess what? I am worth it. Yes, even me. I am a sinner. I am human and I will fail, maybe even the same way twice.
But I was bought with a price. A hefty price paid by the only perfect one. Did God send his son to die and offer salvation to only those who deserve it? No. If that were the case, heaven would be awfully lonely and there would be no point to life.
It is ok that I have made mistakes, my name is written in a book and even I will be defended when judgement day comes.
So, even though my hormones are in desperate need of a leveling out, and I'm feeling nuttier every day, I will sleep well tonight because my savior has silenced the tormentor and given my mind peace.
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