The dishes can wait

Before we decided to have a second child, I knew the key to Abi's successful transition from only child for 8 years, to now suddenly having to share everything, was finding ways to make her still feel loved and cherished and just as important as the new baby. That being said, on a day to day basis that is kind of hard with an infant, especially for me. 

Brayden requires so much of my attention, and since we chose to breastfeed, I am his sole source of sustenance. Aaron is absolutely fabulous as a father and as a help, but much of the responsibility for caring for a newborn rested with me. 

There are not many times when it is just me and Abi. Aaron and I work opposite schedules (I am Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and he is Wednesday, Thursday, Friday) so that we do not have to put Brayden in day care. However, last night was an exception. Aaron was working late and I put Brayden to bed around 8:30. I came downstairs after laying him down and looked around. 

There were dishes on the table still from dinner where I had jumped up to put Brayden on the potty (he was grunting and even at 8 months old we are trying to get him to poop on the potty!). There was meat in the crock pot, potatoes and green beans on the stove, I had yet to make Aaron a plate for today and put the rest in the refrigerator and clean up the kitchen. Another 30 minutes worth of work at least. 

But as I looked past the still dirty kitchen, I saw my Abi, my first born and growing-up-too-soon baby girl. She was curled up on the couch under a zebra snuggie. I came to a crossroads. Clean the kitchen and put Abi to bed? Or, abandon the kitchen and go jump under the snuggie with Abi? So, I quickly put the food in containers and piled the dishes in the sink and left the mess. (My touch of the OCD had a problem with this but I'm working through it.)

It's not often that we, as parents, are actually aware enough to recognize an opportunity like this. We are so busy with the tasks of life- get dinner made, clean up from dinner, give baths, get pj's on, brush teeth, read a book, go to bed- that we do not realize how many times we are missing out on spending quality time with our children. Now, each of those tasks does represent an opportunity to enjoy that time together, but for last night, it was more important to me to spend one-on-one time with my girl than to clean a kitchen that could wait. 

And guess what? The dishes are still there. Still sitting in the sink begging to be washed and put away. The stove still has the remnants of salt and pepper that Abi spilled while I was letting her attempt to season the potatoes. But the memory of getting to spend alone time with mom, snuggling in mommy and daddy's bed watching a movie and falling asleep cuddled up next to me- those are the things that matter to Abi.